Wherever You Go, There You Are
This week, someone asked me how meditation ties in with the Enneagram. Great question! So, I decided to devote this column to answering that question.
Meditation ties in so well with self-awareness and Enneagram because of its focus is on mindfulness. Welcome to your life! Time to wake up, we learn. If we live with some awareness, we are not doomed to bumble around making the same mistakes again and again (or at least if we do, we know what the heck our underlying motivation is so we can pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and learn something!).
If we learn our Enneagram trance-the habitual type-specific reactions we repeat with regularity-imagine being able to use the power of the mindful awareness we learn in meditation as we function in our daily lives. We can actually watch ourselves when we shift on autopilot and catch ourselves “doing it again!”
That lovely breath, which calms and relaxes, can be the grounding force that reminds us to slow down and choose our response. So, if you are a:
Perfectionist, One, you can catch your comparing mind habitually comparing things against how perfect they should be against those pesky internal standards of correctness.
Giver, Two, you can catch your outwardly focused mind tuning into the emotional fluctuations of chosen others, wishing for their approval while altering yourself to please them.
Performer, Three, you can catch your mind instantly moving to your habitual identification with achievement and performance, suspending feelings until the job is done, while believing that you and your image are one in the same.
Romantic, Four, you can catch your mind amplifying the missing positives in your life and idealizing the distant and unavailable, while becoming impatient with “ordinary” feelings.
Observer, Five, you can catch your mind withdrawing from the outside world and detaching from feelings in order to maintain privacy and predictability in order to avoid emotional pain.
Loyal Skeptic, Six, you can catch your doubting mind scanning the environment for ulterior motives, untrustworthy people and worst case scenarios.
Epicure, Seven, you can catch your monkey mind jumping from one pleasant option to another, talking, planning and intellectualizing while avoiding a single course of action, in order to avoid boredom and pain.
Protector, Eight, you can catch your all-or nothing style mind focusing on intense experience and control of people, space, possessions while denying your own vulnerability.
Mediator, Nine, you can catch your mind “falling asleep” to your own position, paying attention to others’ positions, getting caught in comfortable, familiar habits, while containing your own physical energy, anger, and life force.
Jon Kabat-Zinn writes in, “Wherever You Go, There You Are,”
“To allow ourselves to be truly in touch with where we already are, no matter where that is, we have got to pause in our experience long enough to let the present moment sink in; long enough to actually feel the present moment, to see it in its fullness, to hold it in awareness and thereby come to know and understand it better. Only then can we accept the truth of this moment of our life, learn from it, and move on. Instead, it often seems as if we are preoccupied with the past, with what has already happened, or with a future that hasn’t arrived yet.
We look for someplace else to stand, where we hope things will be better, happier, more the way we want them to be, or the way they used to be. Most of the time we are only partially aware of this inner attention, if we are aware of it at all.
What is more, we are also partially aware at best of exactly what we are doing in and with our lives, and the effect our actions and, more subtly, our thoughts have on what we see and don’t see, what we do and don’t do.
Meditation may help us see that this path we call our life has direction; that it is always unfolding, moment by moment; and that what happens now, in this moment, influences what happens next.”
So, welcome to the strikingly simple path back to yourself. You are the only one who can authentically walk it. No longer will you let your days, months and years go by unnoticed, unused and unappreciated because you know that what is unconscious will just color the next moment. Open your eyes. As Kabat-Zinn writes “It’s your life that is unfolding. Wherever you go, there you are.”
Just beginning to learn the Enneagram and meditation? Here are some easy starter steps:
- Watch your habit of mind. When you walk into an unfamiliar situation, what is your instinctive mindset? Check the above Enneastyles and see if any resonate for you. If you are unsure, try one that seems like you for a few days and see if it “fits you.”
- Try NOT doing your habitual reactions. If you are a One, for example, try not to compare yourself or anyone else to a perfect (and impossible) standard. If you are a Nine, try to talk for a moment about yourself in a conversation. Then do it a little longer. What feelings, thoughts and sensations surface?
- Sit for 5-10 minutes and go limp. Inhale deeply, tense, then relax your muscles. Let your mind roam freely. Watch where it goes and listen to what it say, patiently, non-judgmentally. If nothing else, you may feel relaxed and renewed afterwards. Or, you may find that you would rather have a root canal then sit silently for ANY amount of time! You’re not alone.
This powerful source of liberation from stress is one that many initially avoid. It just takes a little practice. Yet, this discomfort with quiet time can also be a clue to understanding your type preoccupations. Computer solitaire is a lot more desirable than sitting with a lot of unprocessed emotional gunk-who needs it, you may ask? You.
I promise-with a little time, some discipline and some focused attention, you will find yourself living the life you are called to live.