Fostering An Integral Vision For The World

Stress Buster

I used to teach first grade.  PS 22 singing Coldplay has me thinking I could do it again…watch those heads swinging and singing….

Helen Palmer and the Enneagram

Helen Palmer will be in Cincinnati from September 26th to 27th.

Contact:   leslie@lesliehershberger.com for details

“Thou shalt not fix, save, advise or set each other straight….”

When I first began the Integral Women groups, I encountered the writings of Parker Palmer who wrote “The Courage to Teach” and “Hidden Wholeness.” He introduced me to the notion of “contemplative listening” which radically altered my view of both listening and facilitation. I came across his work today and the synchronicity is remarkable as his words resonate this morning…they are a reminder to me as one who listens and one who deeply values being listened to…Palmer writes:

“The soul is like a wild animal: tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, yet exceedingly shy…

(Listening) practices must honor the nature of the human soul, that place within us where we know the difference between reality and illusion. The soul is like a wild animal: tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, yet exceedingly shy. To see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is crash through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. But if we walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two at the foot of a tree, the creature may well emerge, and out of the corner of an eye we will glimpse the precious wildness we seek.”

Palmer recognizes that when we go through challenging times, we know inside of ourselves there is an answer. Yet it takes time and the quiet witness of a receptive friend to find that place. Which brings him to his next point which was ever so new to me when I encountered it:

“Thou shalt not fix, save, advise, or set each other straight….

Ironically, community falls apart not only when we ignore each other but when we “help” each other. When someone shares a problem, and someone else says exactly what to do about it, neither the person with the problem nor anyone else is willing to be vulnerable again. What the soul wants is not to be fixed or saved but received. Our deepest need is to be seen and heard and held, as we are, without being evaded or invaded. How should we respond to each other if not with fixes and saves? By asking honest, open questions not to satisfy our own curiosity but (in Nelle Morton’s great phrase) to “hear each other into speech,” deeper and deeper speech, so that the speaker might better understand what his or her inner teacher is trying to say.

An honest question is one I ask without knowing the right answer. An open question does not back the other person toward the answer I want to hear. ‘Have you thought about seeing a therapist? is not an honest, open question…”

As I read this piece the first time, I took a deep breath as I realized the truth of it. How many times do we try to “fix, advise or save?” How often do we long to have someone simply listen? How often do we simply want someone who can hold a space for whatever we are experiencing as WE experience it…in our own unique way?

He writes that “soul-truths do not yield to the headlong or headstrong approaches favored by academics and “can-do” leaders.” Rather, they come from inside of ourselves when given ample time to simmer.

This feels uncomfortable for a listener because as we listen to the vulnerability of another, we encounter spaces inside of ourselves hidden from our awareness…we encounter our own vulnerability and our own realization we don’t have all the answers for ourselves or others. Scary stuff…to see self in other and accept all aspects of this self as part of the complex, bundle of paradoxes inside each of us.

Finally, Palmer writes, “Contemplation, rightly understood, does not plunge us into a pit of narcissism but returns us to the needs of the world with clarity and commitment. A receptive listener provides witness to our discovery of inner truth.”

No fixing. No advising. No saving. A simple receptive presence…

Joy and Sadness…A Holy Paradox

This morning, when I wake to this beautiful day, I can’t help but notice an increasingly familiar sense of “opposites” growing inside of me. I feel profound gratitude and joy on one shoulder and a sort of sadness on the other.

I have so many on my prayer list right now…those who have lost a child, a family friend with two small children dying of cancer, friends with ill parents, children who are seeing joy and suffering each day and becoming aware of the reality of living.

Yet, I awaken and look out my window and the sun is coming over the pines and I smell coffee brewing in the kitchen. I am filled with gratitude.

So, I go to Gratefulness.org this morning to search for a poem or reflection to send to my cousin who just lost one of her twin babies and sits with the other in intensive care. I find a reflection which says that “prayer” comes from the same Latin root word as “precarious.” In this sense, prayer is not a request. Rather, it is reconnecting with the very Source from which we come. We open our eyes to the heart of everything.

So, I smell coffee, I hear the purr of my cat and in a moment, I feel grief. I read: “We come to see these twins, grief and joy, as playing with each other, teaching each other, caring for each other. A sudden gladness can unexpectedly shine forth in a time of great sorrow.”

The point is that a fully lived life turns from neither–we stand at the altar of grief with someone in body or spirit and in the same flickering moment, we feel abundant gratitude and joy for creation itself.

I suppose this is why I love the Enneagram. It is imbued with paradox. Right in the center of the Gluttony of my mind, lies the Constancy of my heart. For my friend, a Two, right in the deflation of Pride is the power of the Humility which offers her a taste of sweet surrender that she can’t be all things to all people and her call is to come home to herself.

For my friend, a Six, when Fear or uncertainty threatens to overwhelm her, smack dab in the middle of it is Faith and Courage and she remembers that she has held ground again and again.

For my friend, a Three struggling day by day with the forward movement that can propel her to the great Successful Accomplishment, she finds in the middle of this crazy Deceit that tells her she is what she does, a sliver of the light of Hope which was inside her all along that reminds her that her life light is not contingent upon a high profile win.

For my husband and daughter, Nines on the Enneagram, the self-forgetting of their least favorite word, Sloth, is the very quality that will spur them to Right Action as they remember the wonder of themselves.

And so on. You can write your own paradox as it is embedded in the fabric of your being. It is the old friend who reminds you again and again, you are an emanation of the Source of Life.

Paradox…we defend and project in our own way, don’t we? We find such creative ways to resist both authentic radiance and the “not-so-distant” wailing of a wounded world. A full life includes both, doesn’t it?

Vital Lies, Simple Truths

We blame the media, we blame the politicians, we do all we can to see the problem with systems “out there.” This is an understandable impulse, but it misses the point as blame is a vicious cycle that ultimately gets us no where. And, we feel frustrated and powerless.

George Orwell wrote, “It is a constant struggle to see what is under one’s nose.” This is the core of the understanding what goes wrong in politics. The human mind can only take in so much information at one time. So, the mind is going to quickly absorb the familiar. It will resist allowing into its viewscreen that which is unfamiliar. So, it takes a struggle to allow other perspectives.

We may see a hundred bits of data on one issue and the mind will land on the data the confirms a pre-established set of assumptions and then MAGNIFY it as THE truth. This is brain science 101. It is why we all can’t play well in the sandbox. It is why entire empires have been brought down–they were in a fog of delusion and confusion and couldn’t see what was in front of their faces.

A good campaign manager understands this. They take a small piece of data out of context from a news conference or public speech that makes the opponent look ridiculous, assign an image that riles the masses, magnify it and voila…you have yourself a powerful accusation that makes the other guy look like an incompetent.

This is the power of developing a meditation practice because you begin to identify the hamster wheel of patterns in your own mind. You get some space between your assumptions and open the door to a tiny little sliver of another perspective. It’s scary stuff as you can no longer rest on the laziness of “us vs. them” and you may have to develop a modicum of compassion for the people, countries and ideologies you have been well trained to hate.

Check out the book, “Vital Lies, Simple Truths” by Daniel Goleman. It’s short, clear and powerful. You will never look at politics and religion the same way again.

Ekhart Tolle and Christianity

“Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel. ” The Gospel of Thomas

Have you noticed that the people with whom it is most easy to empathize are those who have been through the same as you?  Your perspective is altered by life experience.

Some of my favorite times in the women’s groups are before or after when someone comes up to me with something that unsettled her in one of our readings. Or, if she has one of those “aha” moments from a conversation with another woman about our book or about an Enneagram insight.

Last week, someone came up to me and was feeling unsettled. We are reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” in one of our women’s groups. Eckhart Tolle’s notions of religion called her Catholic faith into question.

“How does it all fit?” she asked.

I understood her question as I have asked the same question. In fact, almost everything I teach is born from a question. ”

When I saw incongruencies in religious teaching, I was never one who bought, “You just got to have faith.” I saw too much potential for abuse hiding behind that line.  When I learned that the gospels we read are only partial…so many gospels were hidden…it began to make sense.  I knew this Jesus had to be more than what I was getting from mainline Christianity.  When I read the hidden gospels, I saw another portrait of Jesus.

Questions.  He was loaded with questions.  He wasn’t a big fan of dogma.  He seemed to breathe the line from Anne Lamott that says, “When God hates all the same people you do, it’s an ego God.”

Jesus directly answered only 3 of the 183 questions asked of him. It seems he wanted to invite the questioners into their own experience. It’s almost as if he were asking, “Where is God in this for you NOW at this time in your life? What are your blindspots that keep you from seeing the truth?”

So, I was thinking about the question from one of our group participants. Does Eckhart Tolle’s new book, “A New Earth” conflict with Christian teaching? It depends on your focus. If the focus is doctrine and dogma, then you may run into obstacles. Doctrine and dogma tend to have fixed boundaries.

But, if you practice Christianity (and I tend to look at Christianity as a spiritual practice and as an embodiment rather than as a belief system) in the spirit of inquiry (for the mind), action and embodiment (for the body) and love (for the heart), then Tolle’s book fits like a glove.

I thought much of this woman’s question because I have asked it myself.

Here are some of my thoughts and I share them with hopes they draw you into your own experience:

1. Spirituality is evolutionary. The more we awaken, the more we can take on different perspectives because we are letting go of our egoic, attached way of interfacing with the world. Christian spirituality is evolutionary too. James Fowler’s book, “Stages of Faith” identifies 6 stages of the journey.

We are always growing and the tradition is always changing. It is so exciting that in 1945, ancient sacred scriptural texts were found that were shown to be published before the canonical gospels! They give us deeper insights into Jesus, the contemplative and revolutionary. And, as women study and interpret the texts in the past 40 years, we discover new insights that we hadn’t considered before. The Gospel of Mary Magdalene is profoundly beautiful in its expression of the intimate weaving of human and divine love.

2. The essence of Christianity was expressed in Philippians which was Paul’s invitation to “Put on the mind of Christ.” When we put on the mind of Christ, the rest overflows from that consciousness–surrender, love, compassion. The practices we have been doing facilitate putting on the mind of Christ.

Scholars are beginning to reveal that Jesus was less about believing in him and more about believing in his way of Being. (The focus on believing in Jesus came from the evangelists whose experience of Jesus’ “realization” or “awakening” of his divinity and humanity was so profound that they insisted if we followed this path, the world could be radically altered. Contemporary Christian scholarship suggests that notions of exclusivity-Jesus is THE only-way came much later after his death and did not come from Jesus himself).

3. Christianity was brought into the world during a time when people understood only a mythic God…that is a God out there, separate from us, who intervenes when we ask for what we need. There was no notion of God inside the human heart. The fundamental focus of Jesus’ message was often missed by those who could not understand it at the time. It didn’t fit into their old constructs.

4. At a time when people were at this mythic level of consciousness (they weren’t stupid…rather, humans simply had not evolved yet to a rational stage of consciousness), the church focused on a God “out there.” The Council of Nicea and other councils following, developed a prescribed list of beliefs in order to create a cohesive community.

These beliefs were understood in a literal, concrete way rather than as myth and symbol: Virgin birth, God creating the world in 7 days, Moses’ parting of the Red Sea, rather than as symbols to invite us into our own individual and communal experience.

5. Globalism and science have challenged these literal beliefs and things have never been the same. It rocked the world. Some, like John Shelby Spong, have responded by writing books such as “Jesus for the Non-Religious” which basically state that Jesus was just a real good guy and dismisses Jesus’ divinity.

Others, like Pope Benedict, have written books like “Jesus of Nazareth” which focuses solely on Jesus’ divinity and barely gives a nod to Jesus’ humanity.

Others, fight the notion of evolution and shift to a fundamentalist interpretation of scripture in which each statement is taken literally, an attempt to fit science into the Bible is made and there is a resistance to new insights.

All of the above responses miss the contemplative dimension of the gospel which invites the following insight:

6. If we focus on replacing the “old Adam” (egoic consciousness) with the “new Adam” (Christ consciousness) and awaken to our own Christ consciousness, we move toward a unity with God in which our humanity merges with our divinity. The Christian spiritual path is to raise our consciousness to Jesus’ level. When you “put on the mind of Christ” as Paul writes, we recognize our Oneness with all and Oneness with God.

As we gradually experience our unity, we recognize all the distinctions and categories come from the limits of the human mind. Tolle’s book is an invitation into this consciousness. The focus is slightly different, but not dissimilar. The Christian focus is heavily skewed towards attention of the heart.

7. The Christian focus is on what Paul called kenosis or self-emptying. As we become aware of our false self, we surrender to God’s grace in a radical act of love and self emptying. Jesus exemplified self-emptying in everything he did–radical generosity, radical compassion, radical acts that challenged the notion that the rule of the law came before the spirit of the law.

He also asked question after question after question in order to draw you into your own experience and your own attachments. A spirit of kenosis identifies all that holds us back. The Enneagram is a map that helps us identify the habits that keep us clinging to our false assumptions and false self. Self-emptying is congruent with Tolle’s notion of observing the egoic attachments that hold you back.

8. Christianity’s primary practice is this deep, contemplative prayer and self emptying rooted in radical love of God, love of Love, love of the Oneness that is within all of us. Centering Prayer, lectio divina, spiritual direction, and self-observation all are contemplative practices which help us lovingly illuminate the difference between the false self and Self that is God.

9. Other practices include: kindness, compassion, empathy (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another), working for peace and justice, solidarity with those on the margins of society (the poor, the sick, the elderly, the disabled, the dying, those who are different in some way) who have unique taste of self-emptying.

Why? Because our conventional systemic structures don’t support their way of being in the world. This is why Jesus mentioned the poor and sick so often. This doesn’t mean they are better or more lovable. It simply means they possess an insight that bears a powerful witness that illuminates insights into the Christian spiritual journey. They invite us into our own resistances and fears.

10. Finally, much of contemporary Christian expression is rooted in the mythic understanding of God.

Kenosis is unfamiliar to many Christians. It is important to find support from others who travel this journey with you so we can experience this path and pass it onto future generations hungry for deeper meaning.

Our Integral women groups can be one of the communities to provide this support. We are many I’s who create a WE. We can offer one another support, love, insight and understanding as we travel this journey together.

If you are in our groups, I invite you to continue praying for each woman in your group by name. Pray that she lives into her own questions and my guess is, her questions will intersect with yours, and together, you can be guiding lights for each other.

If you are not, we invite your prayers for us as our interconnection knows no bounds.